To all my fellow procrastinators.

Ahh, hello there!

I am not sure whether I should congratulate you for your honesty or just say “Gotcha!”, but either way, we both know the truth now. And we won’t judge, would we? People in glass houses and all? Yeah, I thought so. 

As many of you probably know, procrastination is not just putting off work. It’s a form of art all on its own. If you don’t believe me, believe the famous authors who found it suiting to defend and even glorify procrastination. For me, it’s enough that Oscar Wilde and Mark Twain are in agreement. I’d say they belong to the bunch you should want to side with.

If you’re not, however, that kind of elitist, or have not reached that level of dedication to procrastination, let me shed some light. “Why me”, you’d wonder. Well, because I, my friend, am if not the Queen then at least the High Priestess of Procrastination. Allow me to elaborate:

I’ve recently shared publicly (in my little world there’s nothing  more public than putting it on Facebook) that I’ve received my acceptance letter from Zürich University for my second MA. As for why I’m even applying for an MA again is a completely separate subject, which would involve a sizeable can of worms, so I won’t go there. Just go with the flow here. The conditions I am yet to fulfil in order to start the MA are a bunch of little worms that I’ll have to deal with in their own time, plus one big fat German Language Certificate Exam that I have a month to get ready for, a.k.a. Goethe-Institut C1 Prüfung.

I’m not sure whether I should trust his judgement… But I’m afraid he has a point there

So here I am, a month away from the exam, quiet panic creeping up inside me, and what do I do? That is correct – I procrastinate like a champion! What does that mean? That means not only wasting your time, but justifying it by filling your day with absolutely anything else on God’s green Earth but actually picking up a textbook.

Now, if you just sit around skipping from programme to programme on the telly all day, checking your email, your actual mail, and, of course, diligently perusing Facebook, Google+, Twitter, Instagram, and whatever other social or not-so-much time wasters there are online, it’s just plain killing your day with a battle-axe. Which is to say – not pretty. I know I’ve had those days and at the end of them I feel like I’ve just ate every piece of junk food in my fridge (and cupboard) because I wanted to clear them out to make room for lean meat and veggies. No one likes that feeling of self-loathing and failure. This is where the art-part comes in.

This is why I’m a top procrastinator: it’s 7pm, I’ve not left the apartment, I’ve not read or wrote a single line of text (before this blog post), I’ve not done a single German exercise, I’ve watched two movies, and still I manage to not feel like a lazy arsehole. How did I manage that? First of all, both movies we entirely in German, so here’s my “immersion  technique” hard at work. You can’t really say I haven’t done anything study-related. I might not exactly be a “type-C procrastinator” as Paul Graham calls it, but I’m a solid B at least (I’ve refused to go bellow even in university 😛 ).

Then, we have the exercises. Just because I haven’t left the house does not mean I’ve been lounging around all day, all right? I’ve vacuumed and mopped the floor, I’ve rearranged a wardrobe and prepared clothes for donating. After this warm up, I did my actual exercises for the day. Then shower, beautification and what not, then rest, and a well-balanced meal – no starches, no carbs. Well, no starches… 🙂 Who can resist having a couple of Bretzeli with the afternoon coffee?

Now that all that has been accomplished, who can say I haven’t done anything today? And I’ve written a fairly long post at that! And, before you say it, writing about nothing in particular is harder than it seems. It’s sort of like defending religion back in high-school, you know? We all know it’s pointless, but every once in a while you have to write an essay on a quote from The Book, and you have to be persuasive. Now that was some serious thumb-sucking right there.

And on that slightly offensive note, it’s finally time to get to work 😉

xx, Y.

P.S.:  I sincerely hope I haven’t really offended anyone with the religious remark, but in case I have… you know, everyone does not have to agree with you. Deal with it.



About Yoanna Novakova

Yoanna is a reader, writer, traveller, concert goer, hiker, drinker, thinker and, of late... a blogger. She's currently doing a lot of travel writing (obviously), but fiction, fantasy and life-writing all have a representative in her portfolio. A reader of varied tastes, she's even been called "strange" for enjoying Stephen King and Terry Pratchett alike. In her pre-teen years, she used to be the kid who'd re-read her favourite books over and over again. Now she knows life is just too short for that. Always reading more than one book at a time, always writing more than one project at a time, she is yet to find her perfect pace. But she's working on it!
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2 Responses to To all my fellow procrastinators.

  1. Pingback: Discovering Heaven!! | Yoanna vs the World

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